I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
