He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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