so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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