The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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