I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
