Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Soap is not a condiment
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
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