i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
