I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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