This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
