I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize