I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
