fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
