Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
