uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
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Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
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three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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