I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize