you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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