Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
