I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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