I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
