I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
