I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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