i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
