i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
