I will die if light touches me.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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