I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
