Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
porn star boner night. come get it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
