I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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