Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
im on a boat
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