I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
