Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
