I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
