My nipple is on Facebook.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the condom got lost in my hair
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
