Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
