i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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