Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
