He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
