i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
