Whod you bang
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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