her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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