I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
