He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
