redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
