woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
