Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
