im drinking this country out of the recession.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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