how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
