When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize