grandma shit on top of the toilet
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize