Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
