turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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