Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
