You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
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