omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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